


Meeting by numbers

by Johnny_Roundy



Category: SKAM (France)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon, M/M, Parallel Universes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-04
Updated: 2019-06-02
Packaged: 2020-02-21 14:19:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18704050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Johnny_Roundy/pseuds/Johnny_Roundy
Summary: "Mais quand je fais un choix, je me dit qu'il y a d'autres Lucas, dans d'autres univers parallèles, qui ont pris le chemin d'à côté. Comme ça, d'entre tous les Lucas de tous les univers, on a tout testé."





	1. Nº 523

Lucas has had a long day at work, one more in a very long week. He's had a very long last few years, in fact. He keeps telling his friends that he's fine, that he loves his job, but the more time he spends there the more he feels like those aren't really his friends, like life as a whole has slowly but surely dettached itself from him through sheer force of passive absence. Like they're out there living their lives while he tried so hard to reach the top of his career that he's left all the things that make life worth living behind. Like he's more island than man. He's on top of the Empire State Building right now, getting ready to sign the biggest deal of his life. Three men are standing in front of him, talking amongst themselves in Russian. Lucas glances at the view and he doesn't quite know what to feel. So many years wasted so he could stand so high, and suddenly he doesn't care, he just wishes he had someone to share the view with. He pictures himself jumping, and right before he sees himself reach the ground, the russians call out for him. One more deal, one more day, one more promotion on the way. Nobody told him success would be so lonely. He solemnly walks out and when he gets into the elevator, he bumps into a mailman. He looks up and he's the most beautiful man he's ever seen.  
  
"I'm so sorry, Mr...."  
  
"Eliott. I'm Eliott."


	2. Nº 6372

Lucas feels like he owns the world when he's surfing. His mom would prefer him actually owning something concrete, though. "'Feeling alive' doesn't pay the bills", she said when he told her he was moving to Bali, "I didn't raise you for you to let your head get stuck in the clouds". But he went anyways. The truth is that surfing is just a distraction, and he knows it. He's never felt alive in his life, surfing just makes him forget that for a while, and for some time he thought that maybe the change in scenery would erase that feeling of emptiness that he's carried around with him all his life. But it didn't. It hasn't. He's in front of the biggest wave he's ever seen and all he feels is superficial. At his core he's been numb for years, and sometimes he fears he'll always be and no surfing will be able to change that. He gets out of the water and back into the harsh reality of once again having to go home alone, and everything along the way is painful because it's so beautiful and he's still empty. No rosy sunsets or postcard beaches or lively parties can make him feel anything and that somehow makes him feel worse. He solemnly walks into the apartment complex and sees a man checking the mail. He must be new, Lucas has never seen him before and feels so caught off guard by his looks that he suddenly makes a resolution. No more feeling alone. It's time to reach out. Not out of courage but out of desperation, and a gut feeling that he can't explain.  
  
"Hi. You must be new here. I'm Lucas."  
  
"Hi. I'm Eliott."


	3. Nº 736

Lucas has been married three times. The first was to a woman, Chloé. They met in highschool and kept dating and it just made sense to get married. That's what people do after highschool, right? It made sense, right? It started out just boring for Lucas. No matter how much he tried, he felt nothing with her, but they were doing the exact same things all his friends did with their girlfriends so he assumed feeling the same things they did just wasn't for him. Then boring became harrowing and a while later he met Paul. And suddenly everything made sense. He left Chloé and married Paul, which lasted about fifteen years until Paul left him for Jean. Sometimes marriages don't last, right? That doesn't invalidate the fifteen years before, right? Later, Lucas met Sammy. Sammy was american and brash and impulsive and he made Lucas feel alive, and he did for eight years until suddenly he didn't. They were doing the exact same things all his friends were doing with their husbands and wives so he assumed love just wasn't for him. This time it was Lucas who broke it off, and there he was, single again. For the third time. Right now he's sixty-seven years old, sitting in a park bench. "Why not surrender to the clichés if you've got no one to impress", he says. Sometimes he plays chess in the park. He's won every game he's played since 2014. But suddenly it happens.  
  
"Care for a match?"  
  
"Of course."  
  
Big smile, silly sense of humour, and a knack for making fun of Lucas' dated slang, even though they're the same age. Lots of cooking stories later, Lucas loses. He can't believe it.  
  
"That was a good game there, Mr..."  
  
"Eliott. Thank you, it's a good way to pass the time."


	4. Nº 314

Lucas has water up to his knees. As usual. He's sick of being delegated to the kids' pool. As usual. He's regretting having applied for a lifeguard position for the summer and feeling like an idiot for having thought it would be like in the movies. As usual. But how else is he gonna pay for college? He's up to his ears in debt. And he's got water up to his knees. That to him is the epitome of ridicule, and it doesn't help that all his friends think so too.  
  
"Look out! There's a shark in the water!!", Yann shouts every time he walks by.  
  
"Fuck you, this is a goddamn bathtub."  
  
Truth is what hurts him isn't the lack of cinematic glamour, it's the fact that he really thought applying for this job was him putting himself out there. Braving into the wilderness to maybe meet someone and feel less lonely. High school felt lonely. College feels lonely. Watching all his friends with their girlfriends feels lonely. And Lucas thought spending a whole summer surrounded by people wouldn't. But it still does. So much courage it took him to venture into a world of strangers relying on him to watch them have fun without him all day long, just for the slim chance he might catch a fellow loner and strike up a conversation, who knows, maybe something could happen. Maybe something beautiful, like Lucas saving some guy's life and him falling in love with his rescuer at first sight. He's desperate at this point. But so far, nothing of the sort. He's still lonely, and he's got water up to his knees. He spends his whole day surrounded by children. There are few and sparse moments of genuine fun, but he feels like an idiot for what he had expected. But suddenly, he feels like he's being watched. He looks up, and the child next to him looks up too and starts swimming towards a stranger.  
  
"Hey, where are you going? Do you know him?"  
  
"Yeah, he's my big brother!"  
  
Lucas lets her go. He still hasn't been able to look away from the stranger.  
  
"You seem to be great with kids. Sorry if I was being a bit of a creep. I'm Eliott."


	5. Nº 4752

It's been a while since Lucas has gone out. It's easy to let yourself get holed up at home when you realize you have no one to go out for. People arrange meetings and hangouts, places don't move. Places can be visited later. Once you start thinking that, you find yourself thinking that places can wait for you, but people don't, and that having something to go out for is nice once in a while but if you have no one to go out for everything can be postponed. And by the time you realize it, the doors are shut and you're closed off from the world. It happens almost as if behind your back, a product of your reasoning but without your approval. Suddenly you haven't been out in weeks because why bother, you'd feel as alone outside as you do inside, or maybe even more on account of all the negative space. Sometimes when you're lonely the open air becomes just that: negative space. Peopleless space. And two other things don't help either: having a job where getting out of the house is hardly ever necessary, and that job still being in another country. Moving from France to Finland was supposed to have been a breath of fresh air (though fresh is an understatement) but he just feels the same. Still lonely. Except the language barrier makes everyone feel further away, the negative space somehow more negative.  
  
But still, he is human and he needs nourishment. He holds on to the little things, eating French food and watching French TV. This time he's going out to buy a baguette. It's the little pleasures that still make life better. But he still isn't used to this new world, he can never find them in the store. Sometimes he sees it as a sign that he made the wrong choice, or that there was no right choice. He can be like that once in a while, so introspective that everything becomes overly symbolic. Lucas can't help but think of things literarily: he's in another country, holding on to little things that remind him of home, but he can never find them. What does that say about him? Eventually he surrenders to literalism and asks the first person he sees at the grocery store.  
  
"Excuse me, where can I find the baguettes?"  
  
"The patongit you mean?"  
  
But that comes out with a French accent and a mocking tone. It sounds like home, strangely in more ways than one.  
  
"......Hi. I'm Lucas."  
  
"A fellow frenchie, good to know I'm not alone. I'm Eliott."


	6. Nº 53

Lucas is lonely. He leaves it at that. No use describing it, that only leads to wallowing and wallowing is counterproductive. No room for that in Lucas's life. People think a food critic's life is just eating and thinking about eating, but there's a whole process. That's what Lucas tells his friends whenever they ask why he keeps acting like a big shot businessman, busy 24/7: "There's a whole process."

"But come on though. It's talking about food for a living. Just, take a chill pea. That's what you should be eating."

"There's a whole process, Arthur."

Sometimes he thinks that sure, yeah, maybe he does dive too deep into his work to avoid thinking about other things. But there really is a whole process to it.  


Monday he went to a Pakistani restaurant. Very nice presentation, food served in tiny little pots and pans hung over candles to keep the food warm, dishes that truly remind you that seasoning is an art in and of itself, delicious bread, beautiful towels... everything you could ask for. He still felt lonely, but no wallowing. Five stars.

Tuesday he went to a Portuguese restaurant. Not his favorite. Too rustic, always trying too hard to seem genuine instead of simply being genuine. The bacalhau à Gomes de Sá was nice, though. And their carne de porco à alentejana is top notch too. The overenthusiastic roleplaying of a typical portuguese fado house made him feel particularly isolated. Three stars.

Wednesday he felt sick. He hopes it wasn't the clams from the carne de porco à alentejana. The doctor said it wasn't that and he felt more at ease with those three stars. He stayed home.

Thursday it was his day off. Just him and no work. No wallowing.

Friday he had the wild idea to let Yann tag along with him to a Mexican restaurant. Lucas took notes of every detail and he spent the whole evening munching chili and asking questions.

"Is that part of the whole process? What about this bread? Is this a process?"

Lucas doesn't want to be mean but it really felt like karma when Yann ate a pepper that was too hot and ended up looking like a cartoon in front of a woman he was trying to impress. Sort of like a French Wiley E. Coyote watching his plan be foiled by a single pepper.

Saturday Lucas decides to go alone again, this time to a fancy French restaurant that apparently has a new sous-chef. He gets there. He sits down, glances at the kitchen and suddenly sees a new face. Something in him just clicks. He thinks "this is it". He doesn't know what "it" is, but he knows he's found it. But he thinks it's probably his lonely brain coming up with nonsense. No wallowing. He starts eating and it's the most delicious food he's ever had. It's a nectar of the gods, it's food that reminds him why he became a food critic, it's Proust's madeleines. He's eaten there before and it wasn't like this, this must be the new sous-chef. He asks to meet him and, lo and behold, That Face shows up in front of him.

"I'm happy to know you appreciate my work. I'm Eliott."


End file.
